Before I Forget

I love the word "postpartum." I like it because it makes the period following pregnancy sound like a medical condition, which it is. In movies, women come out of the delivery room with slightly tousled hair, shimmering eyes, flat stomachs, and a cooing, bubbly, six month old baby at least three times the size of the smallish baby bump they had previous to the dramatic and always public breaking of the water. I left the delivery room in a wheelchair with dark mascara circles under my eyes, a baby-less bump larger than most Hollywood nine-monthers, legs heavier than tree stumps thanks the the epidural, and an admittedly adorable baby boy. In my postpartum room there was a piece of paper on which my nurse wrote goals for the day. My day one goals were to "void" and "ambulate." If it is a goal for you to walk and pee, you know that all is not quite right. 

This is what I don't want to forget: 

Because of the whole hospital ordeal, I didn't exactly follow all of my doctor's suggestions for rest and recovery. When Theo was transfered to Summerlin Hospital on the fourth day, I had probably slept about 12 hours since he was born. That morning when we went to see him at the hospital, we didn't know that he was going to be transfered. I had put on some cute new ballet flats that I hadn't worn before that morning. We left the house around seven and didn't go home until nine o'clock at night. I was on my feet a lot. When we got home that night I took off my shoes at the front door and walked back to our bedroom. When I was walking I noticed a strange sensation. When I took a step, I felt my foot jiggle. Now, when you have just given birth a few days before, it is not entirely unexpected to feel a part of you jiggle, but your foot? I looked down and gasped. My feet were enormous--frighteningly so. I had elephant feet. They JIGGLED. I freaked out a bit, but Gabe convinced me that I was probably going to be ok and to just put my feet up. The next morning when I woke up they were still swollen. Amazing. And that's why I like the word postpartum.